How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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