she smelled like a LAN party
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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