If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
