Plan B is the new Plan A
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Enjoy the penises
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
