The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
