Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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