I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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