Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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