i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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