He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
