dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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