I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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