He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
