I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
