he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
