I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
