Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The struggles of a small town man whore
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
