the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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