he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Fuck appropriateness.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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