Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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