who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
