as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
