I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
worst night to have a conscience
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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