if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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