What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
