help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
