Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
