no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
