I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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