please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
