i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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