But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
...so i touched it.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
