It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
