Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
