Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Alive.
So much puke
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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