Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I want to fling myself into the sun
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
