If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
