i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
