If that was your dad, he is hot
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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