i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize
