OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
