im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
