Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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