don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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