Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
