this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
