I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
