just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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