You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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