dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
