how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
