doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
