There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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