I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
