I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
