Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
